# Eight nights, eight stories: a Hanukkah gift of their own telling

Hanukkah already has the shape of a story told in parts: a candle a night, a little more light each evening. A gift that starts on the first night and asks one question each night after fits it exactly, and by the eighth candle the family has eight stories it did not have before.

## What you give

Your voice opens it: thirty seconds, recorded before the first night, telling them why you want their stories. Nothing to set up on their side.

A short visit each evening, by voice, for the eight nights, if they want that rhythm. A question about the family, a question about faith, a question about food. After the holiday, visits continue at whatever pace they like.

The book gathers as it goes, chapter by chapter, with the family reading along. It holds the family history, the names, the places left and the places arrived at, in their words.

## How to give it

1. Buy it once. One payment, no subscription, and every recording is theirs.
2. Record your message. Name a relative or a place from the family's past you want to understand. For example: "Bubbe, I'd love to have your stories. Tell me about your mother's kitchen in Vilna, because I have the candlesticks and nothing else."
3. Give it on the first night, after the candles. Ask the first question yourself, out loud, and let the interviewer carry on from there.
4. Keep a loose plan for the eight nights: childhood, parents, grandparents, the move, the first years here, the holidays, the food, what they believe. Then let them wander off it.

## Questions to start with

See also: Questions to ask your grandparents about faith and beliefs (/questions/grandparents-faith)

- What did Hanukkah look like in the house you grew up in, and who lit the candles?
- What did your parents keep, and what did they let go of, and did they ever say why?
- Which prayer or song do you hear in your father's voice?
- What did you believe at twenty that you do not now, and the other way round?
- What recipe came with the family, and who is making it now?
- What was the first holiday you made in your own home like?
- Who in the family was religious in a way that surprised you?
- What would you want the great-grandchildren to keep, even if they keep nothing else?

## If they are hesitant

Some people do not want to be the family's archive, and some have stories from the past they would rather not go near. Both are good reasons to decline, and the gift should be offered so that declining is easy. Say the first visit is one question and fifteen minutes. Say that any story can be sealed or left out. If they would rather not, light the candles and let it be.

Related: A book of your grandparents' stories (/for/grandparents); How to write a family history book people will actually read (/write/family-history-book).

Tellforth: Your story, told in full, in your own voice, for the people who come after.