# 15 questions to ask your best friend about the stories they never told

Every one of these is tender. Ask them once, late, in person, and put the way out in the question itself: "or would you rather leave that?" Handled with care, they produce the chapter the book turns on; pushed, they close the door. Swap. Ask one, then answer the same one yourself. The answers are better when both of you are on the record.

1. Is there something you've never told anyone that you would like someone to know? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
   Ask only once, late, and with the door open: "or would you rather leave that?"
2. Was there ever money you were ashamed of: owed, lost, taken, or more than anyone knew? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
3. Is there a story about your family that was never told outside the house? Would you tell it now, or would you rather leave it? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
   Put the way out in the question itself. People take the door in more often, not less.
4. What did your parents never explain, that you worked out for yourself years later? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
   What a child worked out alone is often the truest thing in the book.
5. Was there someone in the family who was not spoken about? What do you know about them? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
   The unmentioned relative is a door; let them decide whether to open it.
6. Did you ever keep something from your husband or wife to protect them? Did it work? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
7. What did you do that you were never caught for, and would you still rather nobody knew? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
8. Is there a letter, a photograph or a paper you kept hidden? Where is it now? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
   A hidden object is a story with a location.
9. Was there a child, a marriage or a love that the family does not know about? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
   Ask it only when you have earned it, and accept the first answer.
10. What did you find out about a parent after they died that changed how you saw them? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
   The late discovery rewrites the earlier chapters; the book needs both versions.
11. Is there something you were told to keep quiet about as a child? Who told you, and why? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
12. What were you most ashamed of at the time, that you can see differently now? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
13. Did you ever lie to get a job, a house or a person? What was the lie? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
14. Who knows the real story, if anyone? Would you want them asked? (tender: ask once, late, in person)
15. Is there a thing you would like told after you are gone, but not before? Who should hear it first? (tender: ask once, late, in person)

## How to use these questions

Ask by voice, not by form. Record it. One or two questions a visit is enough; the follow-up ("who else was there?", "what did she say?", "what happened the day after?") matters more than the next question on the list. Tender questions are marked; ask them once, late, and with "or would you rather leave that?" in the question itself.

## About Tellforth

Tellforth asks questions like these by voice, remembers every answer, asks the next question a good listener would, and writes a finished book from what was said: a memoir in the person's own words, or a novel built on the true story. You own every recording. https://tellforth.com