# How to interview a parent about their life

Interviewing a parent is a skill, and most of it is not asking the next question on the list.

## Setting

Their kitchen or their chair, not yours. Mid-morning, after coffee, before lunch. Fifteen to twenty minutes; stop while they still have energy. One photograph on the table.

## Recording

A phone on the table, recording, is enough. Say "I'm recording this so I don't have to take notes" and then never mention it again. Back it up the same day.

## Opening

Start with something easy and concrete: the house they grew up in, what Saturday looked like. Never start with "tell me about your life". It is too big and produces a summary.

## Following up

The follow-up is the interview. Who else was there? What did she say, exactly? What happened the day after? What did you think it would lead to? Those four questions, asked after every story, turn an anecdote into a chapter.

## What to avoid

Correcting. Filling silences. Supplying the name they are reaching for. Asking a tender question before the fourth conversation, or after a heavy one. Asking two questions at once.

## How many conversations

A real book takes twenty-five to forty. That sounds like a lot; it is two a week for four months, and the person will usually enjoy it more than you expect. If you cannot do that many, there is a product for it.