Questions to ask your adoptive parent

13 questions to ask your adoptive parent about faith and beliefs

Belief, practice, what changed and what caused it. The rule they lived by, in their own words, may be the book's epigraph. Ask "tell me about the day you found out about me" as a scene, not a feeling. Start with where they were standing when the phone rang.

How to use this list. Ask by voice and record it. One or two questions a visit is plenty; the follow-up ("Who else was there?" "What did she say?" "What happened the day after?") matters more than the next question. The 4 marked tender come last: ask them once, late, in person, with "or would you rather leave that?" in the question.

1. What did you believe about God as a child, and what do you believe now?
2. What rule did you live by that you never said out loud?Ask for it in their words. That sentence may be the book's epigraph.
3. What did your parents teach you that you kept, and what did you throw out?
4. What did Sunday, or the Sabbath, look like in your house growing up? Who insisted, and who slipped out?
5. Was there a minister, rabbi, priest or teacher who actually mattered to you? What did they say?
6. Did you ever stop going, or start again? What happened?A belief that changed is a chapter. A belief that never did is a sentence.
7. What did you teach your children to believe, and did it take?
8. Is there a prayer, a hymn or a verse you still know by heart? Say it.
9. Who said grace, or made the toast, and what did they always say?Verbatim. The toast is a line of family liturgy.
10. Was there a moment your faith was tested?tender
11. What do you pray for, or hope for, when it's late and nobody is listening?tender
12. What do you think happens after? Has that answer changed?tender
13. Was there a death, a birth or an illness that changed what you believe?tender

What these questions are for

A good book about a person needs more than facts. It needs the person on the page: how they talked, what they wanted, what they did when it mattered, the story that shows them. These questions cover 9 of the things a writer needs about your adoptive parent: beliefs and values, their voice and sayings, where they came from, habits, routines and work, key relationships, contradictions, the story that shows them, wants, fears and wounds, loss and fate.

More questions to ask your adoptive parent

• All questions to ask your adoptive parent
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• Questions to ask your adoptive parent about family history
• Questions to ask your adoptive parent about love and marriage
• Questions to ask your adoptive parent about their work
• Questions to ask your adoptive parent about food and the kitchen table
• Questions to ask your adoptive parent that are funny
• Questions to ask your adoptive parent about hard times
• Questions to ask your adoptive parent for their advice

Or see questions for everyone else, and how to interview a parent about their life.