Questions to ask your grandmother

15 questions to ask your grandmother about the holidays

Holidays are the one scene a family repeats every year, so they are where character shows. Who cooked, who argued, who fell asleep. Bring one photo each visit. A photograph she has not seen in years will produce more than any question on this list.

How to use this list. Ask by voice and record it. One or two questions a visit is plenty; the follow-up ("Who else was there?" "What did she say?" "What happened the day after?") matters more than the next question.

1. What did your family eat on an ordinary weeknight, and what did you eat when there was something to celebrate?
2. What did Christmas, or the holiday that mattered in your house, actually look like? Who cooked, who argued, who fell asleep?
3. Is there a tradition you kept going that nobody else in the family understands?
4. Tell me about a meal that went wrong. A burnt bird, a dropped cake, a guest who should not have come.
5. Which dish is only made for one occasion, and what happens if someone makes it at the wrong time?
6. What did you get for Christmas, or the holiday that mattered, the year you remember best? Who gave it to you?
7. Who was always late to the holiday table, and what did your mother say when they finally arrived?
8. What was the holiday argument that happened every year? Who started it?The annual argument is a recurring scene; the book can use it three times.
9. What did you do on the day after the holiday, when everyone had gone?
10. Was there a holiday that was cancelled, missed, or spent somewhere strange? What happened?
11. What came out of the decorations box every year, and which thing was never thrown out despite being broken?The broken decoration that survives is an heirloom nobody calls one.
12. Who said grace, or made the toast, and what did they always say?Verbatim. The toast is a line of family liturgy.
13. What did you do for a birthday when you were a child? Was there a cake, and who made it?
14. What was the first holiday you hosted yourself, and what went wrong?
15. Which holiday did you spend away from the family, and where were you?

What these questions are for

A good book about a person needs more than facts. It needs the person on the page: how they talked, what they wanted, what they did when it mattered, the story that shows them. These questions cover 9 of the things a writer needs about your grandmother: loves and tastes, objects, places, food, music, habits, routines and work, beliefs and values, the story that shows them, key relationships, their voice and sayings, loss and fate, wants, fears and wounds.

When people ask these. a 90th birthday; Grandparents' Day; a family reunion; the holidays.

More questions to ask your grandmother

• All questions to ask your grandmother
• Questions to ask your grandmother about her childhood
• Questions to ask your grandmother about family history
• Questions to ask your grandmother about love and marriage
• Questions to ask your grandmother about her work
• Questions to ask your grandmother about the war
• Questions to ask your grandmother about faith and beliefs
• Questions to ask your grandmother about food and the kitchen table
• Questions to ask your grandmother that are funny

Or see questions for everyone else, and how to interview a parent about their life.