Questions to ask your parents

20 questions to ask your parents about music, dancing and going out

Music is the fastest road into a decade. These questions ask for the first record, the dance hall, the song a mother sang at the sink, the Saturday night that got out of hand. Record it. Not notes: a recording. The sound of the voice is the part you will want in twenty years.

How to use this list. Ask by voice and record it. One or two questions a visit is plenty; the follow-up ("Who else was there?" "What did she say?" "What happened the day after?") matters more than the next question. The 1 marked tender come last: ask them once, late, in person, with "or would you rather leave that?" in the question.

1. What music was playing the year you turned seventeen?
2. What song could you not get through without crying, and why?
3. What was the first record you bought with your own money, and where did you play it?The first record is a date, a taste and a room, all at once.
4. Where did you go dancing, and what night of the week was it?The dance hall is where most of the love chapters begin.
5. Who taught you to dance, and in whose kitchen?
6. Was there a song your mother sang while she worked? Sing a line of it.A recorded line of a parent singing is worth a chapter.
7. Did you play an instrument, or wish you had? What happened to it?
8. What did you wear on a Saturday night out, and how long did it take to get ready?The getting-ready is a scene the book can open on.
9. Tell me about the best night out of your life. Who was there, and how did you get home?
10. Was there a band or a singer your parents could not stand? Did you play them louder?
11. What was the song at your wedding, and who chose it?Who chose it is the answer.
12. Did you ever see anyone famous play live? What do you remember that nobody else would?
13. What was on the radio in your kitchen in the mornings, and who chose the station?Who chose the station is who ran the kitchen.
14. Was there a pub, a hall or a club where everyone went? What did it look like inside?One room described well stands in for a whole youth.
15. What music do you put on when the house is empty?
16. What did you and your friends do on a Friday night at sixteen, and where did your parents think you were?
17. Where were you when rock and roll arrived? Who played it to you first?Who played it first is a character; the record is only a date.
18. What did you make of the Beatles at the time? Who in your house disagreed?
19. What did you listen to in 1977: disco, punk, country, the same records as always?
20. What song do you want played at the end, and what should people do while it plays?tender

What these questions are for

A good book about a person needs more than facts. It needs the person on the page: how they talked, what they wanted, what they did when it mattered, the story that shows them. These questions cover 11 of the things a writer needs about your parents: loves and tastes, their place in history, objects, places, food, music, habits, routines and work, key relationships, the story that shows them, their voice and sayings, wants, fears and wounds, how they look and move, contradictions, what they want said.

When people ask these. the holidays; an anniversary; before a big move.

More questions to ask your parents

• All questions to ask your parents
• Questions to ask your parents about their childhood
• Questions to ask your parents about family history
• Questions to ask your parents about love and marriage
• Questions to ask your parents about their work
• Questions to ask your parents about the war
• Questions to ask your parents about faith and beliefs
• Questions to ask your parents about food and the kitchen table
• Questions to ask your parents that are funny

Or see questions for everyone else, and how to interview a parent about their life.